our children are our heritage, not our property. they don't belong to us. fact is, we belong to them more than the other way around. that being said, we have responsibilities as parents that don't dissipate through lack of ownership. kinship is more powerful than possession.

'motivating children' is not about forcing children to live our lives. kids aren't there to fulfill our dreams and aspirations. that being said, we need to recognize there is a right way to go about living and a wrong way. therein lies a parent's real job - guidance not control.

take the concept of 'success'. it is important. but it also depends on its definition. being number 1 is possible for a few. the vast majority of us can't be number 1 unless we are dillusional. for most of us success amounts to being happy or at least content, comfortable, with an effective social network. a lot of people have self-destructed because they weren't number 1. too bad, because they could have been really good and been really happy.

that's one of the lessons a parent needs to teach a child. expectations and goals need to be reasonable or they are almost doomed to failure before the child starts.

'motivating children' deals with such issues as belief systems, rrefs, luck, success, love, automatic pilot, and much more. motivation involves knowing when to start, how to keep going, and knowing when to stop. the properly motivated child is a success under any circumstances.